Understanding Adoption: Insights from Adoptive Dad Andrew Merriman
By Sophie Sulehria
In a heartfelt discussion on Let's All Talk Fertility last week, Andrew Merriman - one half of the adoptive dad duo known as “The Merrimans” on Instagram - shared with us his journey through the adoption process and the joys and challenges that come with it.
Choosing Adoption
When asked about their decision to adopt, Andrew told us that he looked into the other options, but “adoption was the right way forward for us.” The couple felt a strong pull towards adoption, consistently returning to it as their preferred path to parenthood.
The process began with attending information evenings, hosted by the local authority. Andrew recalled the moment they decided to move forward; "We went for a meal after our information evening... and it was there that we decided to put in our interest form." This marked the start of a meticulous process involving screening calls, home visits, and various assessments.
Andrew described the experience as an "emotional roller coaster," with social workers delving deep into their past to build a comprehensive profile. "They ask you all sorts of questions, some of them really intrusive questions as well... but they're trying to build up a picture of your life," he shared.
Overcoming Challenges
The adoption process is not without its hurdles. Andrew candidly discussed the initial period after bringing their children home: "They advise that you stay within your own home for a month... and that's really tough." This advice aims to help the family bond, but it can be a significant adjustment, especially after a period of lockdown.
Another significant change for Andrew was his career. "I used to work full time... and when I went on adoption leave, I never imagined that I would never go back," he told us. But the needs of their children took precedence, leading to a complete shift in his professional life. Andrew left his job to look after their twins.
The Importance of Support
Support is a critical component of the adoption process. Andrew emphasised the value of the training courses they attended and the ongoing support from their social worker. Post-adoption, they accessed the Adoption Support Fund, which provided resources for both the children and the parents. "I have had a couple of therapy sessions that have been funded... because it is hard," Andrew admitted. While he told us it was the best decision they had ever made, it was also one of the hardest.
The Power of Sharing
Andrew and Luke decided to share their family life on Instagram to educate others about adoption and provide a glimpse into the realities of adoptive parenting. "We like to be able to educate people about adoption... and we absolutely love sharing our content," Andrew told us. Their platform has become a source of inspiration and guidance for prospective adopters.
So for those considering adoption, Andrew offered these words: "If you think adopting is your path and you think that you would make an amazing adopter, then go try out one of these information evenings... and one day you might have a family of your own.”
For more insights and stories, follow The Merrimans on Instagram at @the_merrimans and stay tuned to us here on our Let's All Talk Fertility series. Plus if you haven’t already, grab your tickets to The Fertility Show, coming this May. There you will be able to talk to adoption agencies, meet adopters and people who have been adopted, to get a full experience of what life is like for adopted families. Get your tickets here now: The Fertility Show